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Jalan-Jalan with Jerwin in Singapore

Jalan-Jalan with Jerwin in Singapore
Photo by Jerwin Allen Malabanan

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Your e-mail message:

"Dear Sir Tony,

"I am someone you know because of your work at ________________. I am an avid reader of your 'Dear Sir Tony, Dear *****' posts on Facebook. You've given me messages on my birthdays and I tried my best to make sense of them... 

"Recently, I'm exploring the idea of meeting you for a talk. I know you can help me. I have a lot issues or not really issues, just questions I know your perspective on things will guide me. I've always considered your some suggestions and opinion as wise and relevant to me. In fact you've once invited me. But I'm a bit hesitant. I can say I miss your posts on Facebook.

"But right now sir, I think it's urgent. December last year, I met this young man of the same age during an ________________. He was the first person to talk to me in the event. The moment I met him I felt something's different. I like him. He is charming, sweet, gentle and kind. In the 5 days of that program, my focus seemed to be on him. Right after meeting him, I logged on to Facebook to find him. It turned out that he already had sent a Facebook request to me. 

"We've been talking ever since. We have exchanged Facebook and SMSs a lot after the program until I just felt that the liking turned to be love. I love him. And I felt that I should let him know. 

"Funny thing I did was to bought a new SIM card and text him. I created a new persona who admitted this crush on him. Until on my birthday, I decided to let him know that it was me. 

"His reaction is gentle. He said he's looking for a deeper friendship. I reckon before that admission, he offered me unconditional friendship. Despite the admission, we remained friends. I think good friends. We still continue to talk online. We worked on a project that did not materialize. We share our dreams, our frustrations. He has his way of letting me feel I am special. He once told me I am someone special for him. 

"For a year now, my feelings are still the same. I explore the idea of letting him know my feelings. He may not like the idea of us together since it's unconventional. But for what it's worth, I want to open my heart to him. I reached out to him. 

"Right now, we are in the same ___________. It's like God or the Universe is moving. Last day was a crazy one. There was this session where we we partners and we had to do an exercise... While doing that, a love song played. He sang. It's like a movie. Everything is scored.

"But I dunno sir. And I please, if you have time, give me your thoughts. Should I let him know of my feelings? What are the things I need to prepare for? Is this the right time? I'm with him until Saturday. Got a lot of questions I can't formulate. 

"I will appreciate your time and help sir, just like in the past. I also look forward to meeting you again. 

"Maraming salamat po.


My answer:

Hello ___________________!

1. I deactivated from facebook in July this year. I couldn't stand its Sodom-and-Gomorrah ambiance, what with people trying to be as sexy as possible, seducing, lying, cursing, arguing, selling, and character-assassinating. It is also not a creative writer's medium--I could no longer trace my postings from earlier years. Hence I am now on the classier Google+ (where I've been maintaining an account long before facebook anyway, due to my 26 blogs). 

2. I do not go out and meet people. I am a hermit. E-mail and Google+ are the closest you can ever get to me.

3. The "ploy"of the man you are in love with sounds suspiciously gay to me. Are you sure he isn't gay? Gays who desire a "normal" life usually resort to imaginative, melodramatic tactics.

4. If he is gay and if you know it and he knows that you know it and you still love him anyway, go for it. There is nothing wrong with falling in love with and marrying a gay man, if you can still make your happiness absolute.

5. Follow your heart.